Talking aloud

I notice I spend much of my time thinking about living with a brain tumor, yet once I am asked about it I clam up. I am still not comfortable saying "I have a brain tumor" aloud. Even when talking to doctors and nurses that do not know my situation. Plus I am so sick of having to explain why I am having a second surgery with every person I know. I appreciate that people are concerned, but I am sick of getting the pity face. Then I notice myself playing the whole situation down, as if I am a mole removed. I play down the tumor, seizures and surgery. I guess it because I dont like feeling like I have to console people about my illness. Listening to people with other types of cancer or brain tumors make me realize how little I have been through. I am lucky enough to not have needed chemo, radiation or rehab. I need to remind myself that everyone's journey is different and that I should not down play all that I have been through. Not many people say they "just had brain surgery" nonchalantly.
Today I had my pre-op MRI and lab tests. I dreaded having to explain why to the medical personnel. I do not know why it is so tough for me talk about these things with people. I can talk to K about BTs until we both go insane. Maybe it is because I feel he is the only one that understand what I (we) are going through. He is the only one I do not have to put a brave face on for. I can cry, shout and joke with him about all of this. With everyone else all I do is make stupid jokes and act like this is nothing.
I also noticed that I have a rough time hanging out with healthy people. It is like I have nothing in common with them. I am surrounded by people who are planning their next pub crawl while I am planning brain surgery. I also feel like it is hard for me to talk about topics that are not serious. Not that I want to talk about illnesses all the time, but I am more comfortable in those situations.