Not able to stop the spinning of my broken brain

I have been having a few simple partial seizures since the med change.  I was supposed to call my neuro this week to update her on the change.  I am really trying to "tough out" this change, but I cannot deal with it.  I am so tired from this increased dose and I feel my seizure control is getting worse.  I notice that 3 months from my MRI I get really worried about this monster in my brain.  It is the half way point from the last MRI to the next.  Yesterday I felt "odd" as if a seizure might come at any moment.  Luckily it did not, but things are still not right in my brain.  I try hard to not cause alarm and to deal with it, but how can I control this broken brain?  It is not better today.  Will this ever get better?  How can I determine what is a cause for alarm and what is the "new normal" for me?  I just wish I had someone I can talk to about this.  Someone that was level headed enough to know when I should worry and when I should wait things out.  I do not know how anyone could be this person.  I am the one living this and I do not know.  I just decided a few days ago that surgery was not the right option for me at this moment and then a curve ball is thrown at me.  Yesterday I forgot how to write and today I could barely tell you where I was.  I know deep inside I need to call my doctor on Monday (and I will), but how can I explain things that I do not understand.  I just want to wish this all away, but I know this is not realistic.