I went to my neurologist last week, who agreed that I needed a medication change. My body is very sensitive to medications and easily becomes "toxic" (i.e. major side effects). I was told to increase one of medications and decrease the other to see if it improves my quality of life. Just three days later I had a bad seizure. I had it while I just finished up with a client and was talking to her mom. My biggest fear has been to have a seizure while doing EI because I am working with the parents and child. I was in the process of writing a SOAP note, so I was able to pretend I was not responding because I was really involved in that. The mom did not question my odd behavior, so I assume I appeared "normal" and did not lose consciousness. I figured I would give my body time to adjust to the medication change. The next day I had a four hour long aura. I called my MD who suggested to increase my medications, once again. The next day I had two simple partial seizures. These are the days that surgery does not seem like a bad idea. I have been so good not focusing on surgery, but there are times I have to wonder if it will help.
I am so frustrated by the lack of control I have over my body. I am sick of the constant worries and medication changes. I feel like a puppet, never knowing what my body will do next. As time goes on I feel that I will never have proper seizure control, but I am not sure if the risks of surgery are worth it. I have to call my neurologist in two weeks to tell her my progress. I am think I am going to actually bring up surgery to get her opinion. She has not mentioned it the past two appointments, but I think it is because she knows I am not keen on the idea. I figure I can attempt to gauge her real feeling about surgery and proceed thinking about it after that chat. In the meantime I hope and pray that I do not have to go through another electrical brain storm.
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