irony

I have not spoken to my surgeon yet, but I am beginning to accept the need for another surgery. The bottom line is I will feel much better getting the rest of the tumor out. I am coming to terms with the issue of losing a quarter of my vision in each eye. I find it ironic that for the past 6 years I have been living in fear of losing my vision due to my eye disease flaring up again. Now I will be going into a surgery knowing I will probably lose my vision. Losing my vision was the main thought in my head for so many years. I would stress myself out wondering when it was going to happen. As time wore on I thought less about it and wondered if it was going to happen. Now I know the when and if. I does not make it any easier. I am not so worried about losing my ability to read as I know there are plenty of technology to assist with that. My main fear is mobility and orientation. I want to continue to be independent and work. But I try my hardest to not dwell on this, I need to focus on getting this thing out of my head.