Seizures/Predications

Once I was told that my weird "dream-like" state was actually a seizure I thought back to how long they have been happening for. I remember four really big ones within the past four years. I remember many "small" ones in between. The first one I remember so clearly because I was so scared. I was reading through an old journal tonight and I found an entry I wrote immediately following my first seizure. It is scary how I instinctually knew that something was really wrong with my body. The entry is dated 21 december 2004 (just after completing my first semester of grad school). Here it is:
"I fear there is something really wrong with my brain. I've been reading all day and something has been happening to me. I dont e ven know how to explain what it is. I am frantic right now. while I was reading I just got sucked into this trance-like state- it was kinda like a dream. But once I got out of it I was so confused like I just a woke in an unfamiliar place. I couldnt even tell if anything was real or not. i am so scared I dont know what to do. I fear even telling anyone for two reasons" 1 I cant even explain it and 2 they will think I am crazy. I also have this sudden slight headache. I am shaking and am disorientated. When I was in this "trance" I wanted to stay in because I was seeing something like a dream and I wanted to figure out what it was. Kinda like de ja vu because it was fleeting like I could almost catch the images. Yet I was so scared that I pulled myself out of it. I feel like I was drugged or something or maybe my brain is flipping out- i dont know! I am scared but I knoew I wont call a doctor because this sounds insane. I would commit me. I am frantically writing hopefully maybe it will give me some clarity of the situation. I called Deana because she the only one I would tell of my craziness and she didnt answer. Now since I have calmed down a tad I sort of dont want to explain this to anyone and I just wanna forget it. Yet I fear that this is signaling a larger problem."
It is so eerie for me to read that. Honestly I have no regrets about not telling a doctor sooner because I dont think it would have mattered. Plus I feel everything happens at the right time for a reason. I could not imagine going through this during grad school.