Maybe the third time is the charm?

I met with two excellent neurologists at NYU today. They had me in the office for over an hour. They really explained things to me and cared about my perception of the whole situation. I think this is the first time a doctor asked me how I FELT!! They agreed with Monte and feel I need a temporal lobectomy. Instead of being shocked and horrified by the news I felt relief. I do not know if it is relief for having more answers or because deep inside I see the need for this surgery. I fear explaining the need for the surgery to others. I have made sense of it, but it is much harder to convince people not in the situation. Oddly enough K also felt the same as I did meeting with these doctors. Leaving the office we both confidently felt that this is something we HAVE to and CAN do. I am feeling confident that I can get through this surgery like I got through the others. I know this is more invasive, but I feel prepared. I still have more testing to do. I have a WADA test next week and another VEEG the following week. I am thinking I will plan the surgery in May, as to not interfere with my schoolwork. Right now I do not doubt this decision, but I do not know how I will feel as this surgery gets closer (and feeling more real).