Today is the first time that I have a moment to myself to sit and reflect. Since the hospital my seizures have been controlled pretty well. I am obviously excited about this, but also fearful of the day when this control decreases. I have had only a few auras, which is amazing. But I have never had great control for more then 2-3 months, so I fear that is how things will always be. I am not thinking of surgery until I cannot increase the Vimpat anymore, which hopefully will not be for some time (if ever).
Since K left for work a few weeks ago I have been alone for the first time since my second surgery. The extra responsibilities have been difficult emotionally and for my memory. Between work, school, and doctor appointments I have not had much time to unwind which I desperately need. I have been going through heart testing, since my last EEGs showed heart arrhythmias. Although this was first noticed 1 year before I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the doctors are now looking into it seriously. I had a heart MRI, which was worse then any brain MRI. I am grateful that all was normal in that area and hope I do not have to repeat that experience. I have also began losing my hair, which the dermatologist seems to think is related to stress my body went thru with the last surgery. How ironic is it to lose my hair months after my brain surgery. On top of all this I had my four wisdom teeth pulled this week. I look forward to a week where I can without without a doctor appointment. But I am still looking up as some great things have happened also. I have had support from friends that I did not expect (mainly new friends). I also have been more connected to other people with brain tumors and other types of cancer via the internet. I feel much support and I am grateful of this. I am also grateful that my seizures are under control and I am not focusing on surgery number 3. I decided to take this weekend to relax. Here comes yoga, green juices, and Lush facial masks.
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